Just getting started

Quilting. Something I have always admired, but never thought I could do. This journey is going to be fun and exciting, but also tough and emotional. I have fallen in love with my new hobby of quilting, but I never would have this hobby if I hadn't of lost my mom. That's hard to reconcile in my mind most days.

Where to start...
When you know you are going to lose someone, your mom, your best friend you grieve long before they actually pass. For the loss you are going to have. The pain is real, every second of every day and you want some way to hold on to them.  My mom and I were (I hate writing in the past tense) VERY close. We would talk about the pain, the sadness and how it was unfair. We talked about everything! A few weeks before my mom passed it just came to me. I was going to have a quilt made out of her clothes, so I told her and we talked about it too. I had/have this vision of being able to wrap up in her clothes, her smell and feel her arms around me. Oh, how I miss that.

So after mom passed I began to ask around for who could do the quilt. A few friends started to email, message and text me that I really could do this myself. I had every excuse, and all seemed legitimate to me. I can't quilt...  I don't even know how to sew. I don't own a sewing machine. What's a bobbin? How do I thread a machine? Where do I begin? and on and on and on. However, through all of the questions these friends offered support, sewing machines and anything else I needed. They knew it would be good for my soul. So the research began. My husband can attest, I'm a researcher. It probably drives him crazy, because there are many days I drive myself crazy! I have trouble making a decision without researching it thoroughly (that's an understatement) first. I looked up terms, supplies I would need, watched numerous YouTube videos, ordered some fabric and quickly felt inspired. One Sunday, on a whim I decided to go by this cute local quilt shop. As my mother-in-law and I walked around, a sweet lady, Michelle, asked us if we needed help. She had no idea what she was walking in to. I smiled shyly and said "Yes, but I have no idea where to start or what question to ask first." Michelle calmed all my fears and also insisted I could do this myself. Before the afternoon was over we were signed up for a beginner class that started the next day and thus I would begin my first quilt! Michelle even let me borrow one of her personal sewing machines for the "homework" section of the class. She came over to my house, showed me how to use it and said I could keep it as long as I needed. Michelle did much more than just loan me a machine and show me some techniques along the way. She encouraged me, told me how wonderful it looked, how perfect my seams were and that I was a real natural.

Here are a few pictures of the beginning stages.

Note this sewing machine. My mother-in-law got me an early birthday present so I would have my own machine. However, I've already upgraded, which I'll share soon in another post.

 My first 3 finished blocks.

 All of the squares put together.

The finished quilt top.

My quilt top was soon done and it was time to figure out the actual quilting part. This used to be done by hand, but now free motion quilting on a sewing machine is what most quilters do. The other popular option is to send it off to have someone with a long-arm, quilt it for you. Michelle (who has a long-arm) offered to do mine for free (it can be quite expensive to have it quilted) since it was my first quilt. I knew she would do a perfect job and it would look amazing, but I was determined to see this quilt through from start to finish. Soooooo, yet again I researched terms, supplies I would need and watched video after video. I did a few practice 'sandwiches" and I was anxious to start my quilt. It again felt natural, like a puzzle I had to figure out and Michelle was more than impressed.

Here are some of my practice "sandwiches" for free motion quilting. This is tough on the shoulders. Basically, since the needle stays still you move the quilt around. It's like if a pencil is held still and you move the paper.

Meandering a little.  This one is kind of hard to see.

 Trying out some flowers

 And some loops

A quilt has so many steps. With each one I felt accomplished and anxious to finish. It felt even better when my brother, Will, saw a picture and wanted me to make him one for Christmas (he doesn't know what it looks like). My goal is to practice for awhile and learn lots of techniques before I start my moms quilt. I also know emotionally I am not ready. I've shed many tears just writing this post. Making this quilt gave me something to focus on and maybe distract my grieving heart for a few minutes here and there. I not only love the finished project, but I loved the process and each step. Of course with everything I do, I immediately wanted to call my mom, show my mom and have her affirmation. It is painful, but so is every day right now. I hope by doing this blog I am able to document my journey of Quilting for my Soul.

My finished quilt.

Up close of the quilting.

I feel like pictures don't do it justice.  I love the way it turned out.