I have a type...

I actually have a few "quilting" blog posts drafted, but I was feeling so bad for so long that none of them have gotten posted....yet.  When something new and life changing happens to your life, it's hard to let people know.  I struggle with how to get the news out, do I even want the news to get out etc....  So far, I have found that by telling people what is going on, it is helping me cope and find resources for lots of information.

So lets get on with it....
On the morning of November 14th I woke up, got on the scale and had lost another pound. I'm sure all the women out there are wondering why it sounds like I'm complaining about this.  However, this made about seven pounds lost in just a few weeks, maybe one month. At first I didn't mind, I am post baby and who wouldn't love to go on a girls weekend including the Epcot Food and Wine festival and lose two pounds! Then it started to get scary. I had excuses or reasons at first that kind of explained away the weight lost, then it just didn't make sense. Mom always said of anybody she knew, I know my body very well and I KNEW something just wasn't right. On top of the weight loss, for a few days I had been soooooo thirsty. I kept complaining to Max about it, but nothing really crossed our minds. In fact, I had taken three pregnancy test over the course of a few weeks, because of my symptoms; being exhausted, waking in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, losing weight (with both pregnancies I lost weight in the beginning) and being nauseated on and off.

Back to the morning of the 14th - After I had shed yet another pound I did what all normal people do and I got on Google.  I sat down, not sure what I would find and typed in "unexplained weight loss and thirsty." My feed was flooded with the word Diabetes, which was alarming. Since I had gestational diabetes I ran in the bathroom and was relieved I had kept my blood glucose meter. I tested it, and then called Max. Again, I was in shock and hoped the high reading was due to the fact I had eaten so recently. I waited a little bit longer, tested again, and it had gone up more. At that point it was low 400's (normal is around 120). After a few phone calls and a conversation with my panicked dad I had an appointment with an endocrinologist that afternoon.

With my google search it was very clear I had every symptom of diabetes, but it just didn't make sense. I think every one was freaking out except me (I was probably and still am in shock). At my appointment the doctor walked in and said, "we can talk in a few minutes, but first I either have to send a nurse in here to give you insulin or I have to send you to the ER." HUH..."Hi, nice to meet you too, I guess I'll choose the insulin." We had to stay for hours, because my sugar level just would not come down and I was in a critical condition, because of some other medical complications that are difficult to explain. Eventually I think the office was ready to leave since they stayed open an hour later than normal just for me. The doctor sent me home with strict orders to go to the ER if needed. The next day I got a slew of blood drawn to help determine what was going on, then the waiting game began. If you know me, you also know I'm not good at waiting for important information. I like to research, get answers and be in the know.

The day after Thanksgiving we headed back and it was confirmed I have Type 1 Diabetes.

Some questions I have gotten a lot...

What caused this?
Type 1 is autoimmune, my own body has destroyed the insulin-producing beta cells in the pancreas. There is no known cause or reason I got it, there is also no way to prevent it. There is speculations about viruses triggering your body to go into it, but I had not been sick recently, so who knows. Type 1 comes on very suddenly and aggressively. Type 2 develops more slowly over time. Type 1 is considered insulin dependent, because I don't produce any. Type 2 they either don't produce enough or it's just not working properly.

Is it related to the Gestational Diabetes?
Again, not really. There might be some relation, but GD means you actually have a greater rick of developing Type 2 later in life. Maybe it was a God thing that I had GD and could test my blood sugar and react before things got worse. Most people spend time in the hospital when they first get diagnosed because it comes on so quickly.

What does it all mean?
I do not produce insulin, which you need to stay alive. Type 1 means you are insulin dependent so I will give myself insulin for the remainder of my life. Currently, I am trying to jump through all the hoops to get an insulin pump. A pump means I wear this beeper looking device that is connected to my body and can give me insulin. I will only have to change that site every three days instead of giving myself an injection every time I eat. This shows an idea of what I will have.
















How are you doing?
Well that's kind of tough to answer.  My counselor said I've put up a wall, because people can only take in so much. I feel very numb right now. Eventually the wall will come crashing down. Physically I feel so much better. I honestly didn't realize how bad I felt. I hadn't wanted to quilt in a long time and it was actually making me worried.  I was really just too exhausted to enjoy anything.

So what can you eat?
I can actually eat anything you can, but that doesn't mean I should. I just have to know the carb count and give myself enough insulin for it. Of course there are some foods that affect it more than others. To eat I prepare a meal or snack, count the carbs, take my blood sugar, double check the carb count, figure out insulin amount, inject the insulin, then make sure I eat within 10 minutes...all while a toddler is running around and a very on the go 9 month old is hanging from my leg.

The hardest parts for me right now:
-It REALLY makes me miss my mom.  Max, my dad, and my brother have all been great, but who doesn't want their mom when they are sick or something goes wrong.
-I can no longer eat without thinking.  I love to snack and that is not really possible anymore.
-I am overwhelmed with trying to figure this all out, but I know eventually it just becomes a way of life.
-The long term effects really scare me.
-The hypoglycemic (low sugar levels) episodes I have had scare me more.
-I love being active and exercising and that is also difficult and I can't just do it without thinking.

I don't want diabetes to define me, but it is now my life.  I will be open and answer any questions anyone has, but probably won't blog about it much.  I just thought by making a blog post, it was the easiest way to let our friends know what is going on. The biggest motivator though in deciding to share, was in case anyone out there has experience with Type 1 diabetes. Being able to talk with people who have gone through this has been a huge help, it can be so confusing. So, if you know someone or have any advise please email or message me.